The rain

I am standing in the rain
with an umbrella in my hand
I don’t want to open it
let the rain soak me
do I want to hide my tears
or I want to feel the rain
the water drops scrolling my face
I don’t if my eyes are raining
the cold breeze
it makes me freeze
I am moving a bit
I don’t want to
I am not saving myself
I don’t want to
please let me be
please let me live
I am not even breathing
I don’t want to……..

Just some random thoughts ( Urdu poetry)

चांद की तलाश में निकले, तारो को हमसफ़र मानकर
नया सफर शुरू किया , आसमान को रहगुजर मानकर


बेताब हूं जानने को, चांद की चमक का राज क्या है
इस चांदनी में आखिर ऐसी आखिर बात क्या है


इस चमक ने यारो मुझे कुछ यूं हैरान किया है
देखो कैसे चांदनी ने हमें चांद के दागो से अनजान किया है


खूबसूरती के आगे इस चांदनी की लोग दागो को भूल जाते है
यह तो इंसानों की एक गलती पर, उसके सौ अच्छे कामों को भूल जाते है

It all started with just knowing your names

It all started with just knowing your name


I’m not sure if I just fall for your fame


When I saw you at first, you looked so good


Just looking at your smile lifted up my mood


I can not forget how desperate I was to know you


The feelings are still as the first time I saw you


I started to stalk you bit by bit


The sparkle of love was growing lit by lit


I never thought I’ll come this far


Your love is like I am being out behind the bar


I don’t see a way out of this place


But this love somewhat brings me grace


I like you voice, I fall for your smile


I wish to walk with you far away many mile


I know I am just one drop of the ocean


But I’ll be satisfy if I get very little of your love portion


Finding you was the best thing happened to me


Words can not explain what you have done to me


Knowing about you was the decision I made


Now I’m never gon’ change and I’m never gon’ trade


In my life you’ve become my glitter


Please let say once that I’m your filter


Because of you I found a new friend group


Now we enjoy together our chicken noodle soup


You are so healing just like mother’s care


Listen your voice makes me sleep like a winter bear


The place you are it becomes utopia


Cuz for me you are my Euphoria


I don’t care if people think it’s sin


I’ll keep doing it cuz all I do is win


It will take long but I wanna meet you soon


I shine with you light cuz you are my moon


I will never say give up or I’m tired


I’ll always be bright because I’m moonchild

You are to me

I saw you last night,


You were in my dream

I was like a cupcake


And you were my cream


I wanna see you, wanna see you


Everyday every night


I don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know


What’s wrong and what’s right


You see me, I see you


You heal me I heal you


I wanna meet you, wanna meet you


Everyday every night


You are like my moon, just like my moon


You’re shining so bright


When I’m talking with you


When I’m walking with you


I feel like I’m in the sky


I am flying high and high


I wanna get you, wanna get you


At the price of my life


I’m ready to do ready to do


walking on the edge of knife

I wrote this song for you

I am singing for you

I was a loser forever

But now I am just winning for you

I wanna hear you , wanna hear you

Every day , every night

I wanna tell you , wanna tell you

You’ll be forever what you are to me

Chatterbox

I have much to do today. I just washed utensils and now I am going to do cleaning. Dusting, moping and all.


after that I will write updated for my novels. ‘ love internship story of jazzelle’ it’s the title of my story. I have started this novel maybe 6-7 months ago. and gave up in middle as I am used to.

I always start something and when I find it difficult or boring I eventually stop doing it. but then I started it again. you might not believe or might definitely believe if I say it qas because of BTS…… more accurately namjoon sir.

I listened the song ‘ no more dream’ of course I didn’t understand anything since it’s in Korean language and I am Indian I do think understand Korean.

but it felt like this song was triggering me… I checked the translation of this song…… it was asking me what’s my dream…. if I don’t have one that I should create one…. and when I create it… I should chase it…. I dreamt about being a writer when I was in 8th standard…. but as I said I never took it seriously…

after listening this song I questioned myself that what’s there I am most passionate about and an answer popped up out of nowhere…. it was writting


…. I started the novel again and started Publishing it on a online platform MANGATOOON. I do think have many readers but those who read it seems to like it. the novel will end soon. I can’t say how happy I am.

I know it’s not a big deal. nowadays there are many people writing novels. many kids on MANGATOOON are contracted writers. they’ve written many nocela but the first is first. it’s the first novel I will complete so it places a very special place in my ofcourse. I actually wasnt going to talk about this when i started writing this post…. I was just gonna say that I jave much to do but still I am scrolling weverse and pinterest… but end up by saying all this….. what a chatterbox😜

http://h5.mangatoon.mobi/contents/detail?id=904829&_language=en&_app_id=1

When we meet (fun poem with BTS)

the day we will meet,I don’t know what will I do

You see I don’t know what to write but I still I do

will I be jumping like kangaroo or climbing on you like koala

would I be eating kimchi with you, or you will order lachimolala

will I just see you from afar or holding you tight

will we drink cola together or be drinking sprite

when we will meet , will you ask about my study

you’ll be looking like human or I’ll take you as bunny

I am just writing non sense, even I don’t mean it

I was just scroll some memes and I’ve seen it

I wanna shake hands with you, and see you for sure

but let me make it clear my love for you is pure

I want to meet you and show my gratitude

want to thank you for changing my attitude

Am I ………….

If I am not successful, am I useless


If I am not beautiful, am I unwanted


If I don’t Achieve anything, am I unworthy


If I can’t do anything well, am I loser


If I say truth, am I rude


If say yes to everyone, am I gullible


If I say no sometimes, am I arrogant


If I want to learn many things, am I overconfident


If I fail to learn something , am I dumb


If I allow you to touch me for love, am I slut


If I don’t allow you to touch me in the name of love, am I b*tch


What should I do then, where should I go then


You keep nagging me, you keep ragging me


I don’t say anything, cause I am afraid to say


I don’t dare to go anywhere yet I fear to stay


Questions are roaming around in my mind


I just want to ask them to you one time


Please tell me what to do or don’t tell me what I should do


Just let me do what I want, I don’t think it’s a crime

तुम मुझे जीने से नहीं रोक सकते

ज़रूरत मुस्कान की थी, और हम अश्को को प्यार समझ बैठे

जिसने हमें इंसान तक ना समझा, हम उस यार समझ बैठे

बात अगर दिल तोड़ने की होती, तो माफ़ कर भी दिया होता

अगर तुमने अपने नापाक हाथो से, मेरे जिस्म को छुआ नहीं होता

रोती रही, गिड़गिड़ाती रही, मै अस्मत के लिए मेरी

पर बना दिया था जानवर, तुझे उस हवस ने तेरी

मोहब्बत ना समझा तुमने अपनी, ये हमने मान लिया होता

मगर एक इंसान थी मै, काम से काम इतना जान लिया होता

कितनी बेबस और कमजोर थी मै, ये समझ गई थी मै

प्यार है या हवस है, इन सवालों में उलझ गई थी मै

पर ये जान लो की भरोसा करना छोडूंगी नहीं मै

संभलूंगी इस दुनिया में हर कदम पर, पर इसे छोडूंगी नहीं मै

उस वक्त चाहे कमजोर थी, पर अब कमजोर नहीं पड़ना है

जीना है अपनी ज़िन्दगी शान से, सपनों को पूरा करना है

मरना नहीं है, और ना ही घुट घुट कर जीने का इरादा है

हंसना है, मुस्कुराना है, जीना है जी भरके ये मेरा खुद से वादा है