Ramzan starts from today.

Hello my WordPress family.

Since today I am going to do fast for 30 days.

One completed. From sunrise to sunset we (Muslims) can not eat anything or drink anything (not even water).

Does it seem hard?😨 Not at all😀😀.

Truly I didn’t feel anything for the whole day. Though I am a person who can not starve, and I need water in every 15 mins. I always carry my water bottle wherever I go.

But it’s indescribable that in Ramzan I don’t feel any difference. Even if starve for 14-15 hours and don’t drink water I still feel energetic and healthy.

This month is truly divine. I just love it. This 30 days will end in a pinch. And then I’ll wait for this beautiful and peaceful month for whole year.

I am going to pray for everyone.🙏🙏 No need to thank me😁😁. Okay that’s it for today.

What’s my dream?

Hello my friends! I am a bit confused about something, I need your help.

As you know these days I only talk about BTS. This is not about BTS but me.

Actually I was listening songs, and I found BTS’s first song ‘ no more dream ‘. Ofcourse this song is in Korean language so I read the translation.

They are asking us ‘ what is your dream’. After reading the translation I am constantly asking myself what is my dream. Is there something, I am willing to achieve at any cost.

But I am not sure. At first I want to become a writer, but I don’t wanna do it as a job. I just want to write novels and poetries.

Second I want to work in that school where I studied for 12 years.

And then I want go to the other city for job so that I can be stronger and independent. I wanna face this world.

I’ll because laughingstock if I say this but I’ve always wanted to sing. Though I know I don’t have much talent on singing and I am confident enough to sing in public. That’s why I never participate in singing competition. But in my heart I want to sing.

These are not a kid’s dreams. As for writing, I am trying hard to complete my first novel, and I am also sharing it on manga toon an app for novels and comics. My current novel love internship (story of jazzelle) will be finish soon and I’ve already thought about another novel idea. So I can’t say I am not serious about this dream.

Now about my job in my old school, I’ve submitted a resume there, they said once the school opens they will contact me. I even submitted the resume for my internship in that school, it shows that I am sincere about this dream, right?

And about working in another city, I’ve decided what kind of job I’ll apply for. And I am studying for that major. I gathering as much information I can, so that I can perform my best there. I am determined to go to another city and show my parents that I am not a small kid or fragile girl. I can live in this world freely. I don’t need stay at home.

At last, my dream to sing. I won’t say I am determined. No! Actually I am not confident. I regularly practice singing. Different styles and different languages. I do exercise for my throat and voice. My father is also a kind singer so he knows many things about rhythm and chords. Though I am trying to learn music but I can’t choose it. (It’s prohibited). I am trying, learning and practicing but still I don’t have confidence. But it’s my dream as well.

There are so many things and I am determined to do everything. I can’t choose one.

Please help me. Tell me what is true dream. Please…..

A fresh morning

After the whole night nap

I woke up, it feels like a snap

I dreamt a lot,

I went to some beautiful places

And also I visited my favourite destinations

Even in the dream I went through many clashes

But I feel so refresh because it was all my creations

I dreamt a lot

I met those whom I want to meet

I did everything what I want to do

I got everything what I need to get

I gotten over those thoughts I should have

Now it’s a fresh start

A new challenge is waiting for me out there

I ought to accept them, and try it out

I no longer need others to decide whether I am a failure or a victor

I am gonna try my best, I am gonna live my best

I am always a winner in my heart

Because only I know how hard I tried

I am always aware of my worth

Because only I can save my pride

Let’s yawn for a while

then with a cup of tea, let’s wish good morning to everyone

Good morning 😁😁😁

this song fits me. (Coldplay) fix you

Hey friends. I have much to say. You can say I am here to complaint. But whose.

Even I don’t know on whom I am mad at. Perhaps I am angry with myself, or people around me. Or is it simply jealousy.

About this song, the lyrics always seems so real and relatable to me that I feel I am the who wrote this.

When you try your best but you don’t succeed.

It always happens to me. Whether it’s in exams or any competition. Whenever I try my best, not only me but everyone who sees my performance tells me that I am gonna be the winner for sure. But I end up with being loser. Not because I wasn’t worth it or my efforts weren’t enough,  but because they don’t want to.

Sometimes a senior gets the chance go level up with the competition because they have gone their there before and they are familiar with teachers. Sometimes because they wants to encourage the freshers, they don’t convey us.

Then what am I. A joke? When I was freshers I didn’t get chance because I wasn’t experienced and I lose against my seniors, though I was worth to win. And now when I am senior I lose against my junior because they want to encourage our junior. What about us. And now we are discouraged what about that. After participating, after giving my best, I don’t win, and they don’t even explain this. The only thing they do is to smile and laugh.

When you get what you want but not what you need.

I get encouragement, everyone including my teacher makes me think highly on myself. They tell me that I am worth of winning. They say I am good at many things. I can do and can learn everything I want. Everyone wants this kind of compliments and encouraging words. I too love this. I get what I want. But what I need is real encouragement. Winning. I need to win in order to be able to face myself in mirror.

I feel like I’ve become a joke. I don’t only want to do my best I want to be the best. I need to win. But I don’t get what I need.

Am I really an unworthy person. Am I really good for nothing.

When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep.

I am also tired. I am tired of losing, I am tired of blaming, I am tired of confronting myself by thinking that I am worthy but just unlucky. I am so tired that even if i want to stop and relax, even if I want to sleep, I can’t.

I just can’t get myself together. I don’t know what to think, I don’t know what to do. Though I know I’ll be better tomorrow. Once I close my eyes I’ll forget about all this but only for the time being. This will happen again and I’ll remember everything again. I just can’t forget all this.

Everytime when this kind of things happen, I just try to forget but I can’t. I pretend to be carefree but this things break me.

Anyway it won’t help. No Matter what I say or do it doesn’t mean anything. I should just accept that I can’t do anything except flattering myself by thinking I am worthy. I should know that I am just a good for nothing person.

Essay competition and my yru

Hello friends. How have you been?

I am doing very well. Yesterday I participated in a essay competition in my college. The subject was ” salt March and Mahatma Gandhi”

Salt March was a movement for breaking the British law. Mahatma Gandhi the father of our nation started the march from Ahmedabad to Dandi. This movement longed for one year and in the end we won.

Mahatma Gandhi was the legend who fought against the British government without any weapons but still he brought us freedom.

His every thought is valuable. I personally like two of his thoughts very much,

Live like there’s no tomorrow and learn like you will live forever.

Make those changes in yourself what you want to see in others.

This two lines my foundation for my future decisions and dreams.

I am going to learn as much as I can. I am not saying I’ll study hard or I’ll read books. I will learn those things that is fun and useful as well. But I won’t let my study suffer. I’ll definitely do good in my upcoming exams.

I will only hold expectations on myself rather than holding expectations on others.

Let see what happens to my essay competition. They’ve chosen first year students for next level, I’m not sure if they are going to choose others or not. But I am happy one of them (winner) is my best friend.

Bye bye, see you soon. It’s time for language practice.

Random thoughts

If you give something it’s not important you would get same thing in return.

No one hurts you, it’s you who hurt yourself

You make make them so important in your life, by thinking that they would make you important in their life

They don’t hurt you, your expectations do.

You give with the thought of taking, and this expectations makes you sad.

This give and take formula is nonsense.

You should never give and even more never expect to get something.

BTS ‘fix you’ (coldplay) lyrics

BTS A.R.M.Y.

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

How was your school?

Hey friends! Let’s talk about our school days.

Let’s talk about me first, I was a kind of student who was good at marks but bad at studying. I always hated studying. Actually I hated studying hard. I don’t bother myself with studying hard and deep. Only a few main points are enough to write in exams and get marks.

I never completed my homework, I was always out of class. In our school there was a rule, if you don’t complete your homework, you will have to sit in the corridor and complete it.

Me and my friends were always there. We were always seen in corridor writing our homeworks. And all the good students who completed their homework on time were attending the classes one after another.

And those who are in corridor were having fun Like me and my friends.

Now when we talk about those days, when we were having fun punishment in corridor, we all laugh. Only talking about those memories makes us very happy.

I am not saying we shouldn’t study hard and have fun all the time, but we should at least make some kind of fun memories as well.

Study like a firstbencher and have fun like a backbencher it’s the best way to make your school days the best memories of your life.

Now tell me what kind of student you were?

Language learning

Hey friends, long time. Because I was busy with my examinations (spiritual studies) and CCE (continuous comprehensive evaluation) in college. But I did make many posts. Despite that the response wasn’t very good, I thought my WordPress family has forgotten about me.😞😞 Aahhh!!! makes me so sad😭😭

But it’s my mistake for not being active, so from now on I’ll try my best.😁😁

In my new year resolution post I said, I wanna learn new languages in this year, and I am on my way of learning.

Let me show you something

Korean language notes. (Pinterest)

In the way of learning Korean, Kdramas and k-pop (BTS) plays an important role. I’ve learnt Many words and pronunciation from them. 😍🤩😁

Some of my Japanese language notes. (Pinterest)

I find Japanese a bit hard, because it’s not very familiar, as I’ve watched very few Japanese drama. So I’m not familiar with it. But I’ll watch and listen Japanese dramas and songs, so that I can learn it.

(doesn’t it look like I’m making learning excuse in order to watch dramas.) No that’s not true, I am really wholeheartedly learning these languages.

Chinese lessons on Duolingo.

Chinese is the first foreign language I started to learn. I used to learn it by using hello Chinese app. But as always I felt a bit bored of it, or maybe I found it hard so I didn’t continue it, and left it.

But this time I am not giving up. Even if it’s hard, I’ll learn. I will learn. ☺️😁😁

I shouldn’t forget about English, my English is very poor so I need to learn more, so that I can speak fluent English. As well as Hindi. I want to learn hindi lit

Language learning is the first thing what I’ve found interesting, for me everything I do is fun and exciting but this is first thing what I like to do the most. ( From learning aspects)